A child's tantrum is a common occurrence, and in many cases part of everyday life! Sometimes it can't be avoided, so it's important to know how to behave in such situations.
When it comes to children's tantrums, I like to ask my clients, "Are you convinced it's a tantrum? ''. Often, the emotion triggering the tantrum will not be anger. We can have tantrums at any age, and the emotions behind them can range from anger, disappointment and sadness to helplessness and fear. So let's take a step back and ask ourselves whether anger is really the emotion behind the crisis. That said, the most important thing to remember when your child is having a tantrum is to keep control of yourself. Simple? yes! Easy to apply? Not so easy!
It's important to remember that your child only acts in the moment of a strong emotion, so you need to try to take a step back from the emotions that are overwhelming him or her.
When an adult is present during a child's tantrum, the first thing to do is not to try to deny or stop the emotion.
Afterwards, finding a quiet space is the ideal place to talk to your child.
When a crying child throws a tantrum, stay calm. It's important not to lose your temper, as this can make the situation worse and leave your child feeling misunderstood.
Instead, speak in a calm, collected voice and let your child express strong emotions.
Recognizing your child's emotions will help you prevent his behavior from getting out of hand, and give you time to recover from your emotions as a parent.
The tantrums in children: how to cope?
IF you're here reading this article, you know better than anyone that a child's tantrum is, as you might say....difficult to control. This is indeed the case, and the mistake is the premise of this last statement, that we must stop this tantrum. Let's ask ourselves: ''Is it urgent for my child to stop being angry? Is this situation dangerous for him or for others? Is it wrong to be angry? In most cases, the answer to all these questions is no.
In this article, I'll give you 5 tips on how to deal with this sometimes difficult-to-bear but very normal reaction.
1. stay calm, avoid escalating the situation
First of all, avoid reacting in a way that will make your child even more upset, such as yelling, crying or threatening a consequence or punishment.
Instead, take a deep breath, tell him he can't get what he wants, and give him time for both of you to relax.
When your child has started to throw a tantrum, a good first step to calming him down is to name his emotions.
This will help your child learn to identify his own feelings and deal with them. You can also simply point out that he is angry and reassure him.
The best way to deal with a temperamental child is to stay calm and in control.
2. Avoid giving in to the child's demands.
Always use your own judgment, for example by getting to the source of the problem and looking for a solution instead of getting angry.
Remember to be consistent and follow your own rules, as inconsistent parenting can lead to even bigger tantrums. Your child will be better able to learn from this experience.
Don't give power to your child's tantrum, but don't overreact and let them know they can count on you when they're not feeling well.
3. Try to distract yourself with activities.
You can also try to divert your child's attention from the tantrum by talking softly and doing activities together.
If your child continues to throw a tantrum, stay in the same room with him and keep dialogue to a minimum, while letting him know you're still available.
4. Strengthen your ties
During my years as a youth center worker, I created my strongest bonds during and after crises with the young people I worked with. Strong bonds are created during turbulent times. So, don't let your child try to get out of this impasse on his own, coach and support him!
5. Create an environment where your child can relax.
It is very important to have a place to think, reflect and calm down.
From an early age, children need to learn how to manage their emotions, both good and bad, and avoid outbursts that could harm the people they love.
Once the tantrum has passed, try to calm yourself and your child down. It's important not to make your child feel bad because he's upset.
Don't let your child lose control by getting angry or ignoring him.
The best way to handle a tantrum is to avoid yelling, fighting, getting angry or hitting your child.
If a child is screaming or yelling, the first step is to calm him or her down by allowing a healthy conversation in a quiet environment.
When this step is not sufficient, try repositioning the child in a neutral location. This will help the child feel more comfortable in this environment.
The most effective way to deal with a child's tantrum is to stay calm. Don't let your emotions overwhelm you.
The best way to avoid this is to talk to your child in a soothing voice. By being more patient and understanding, you can shorten the duration of the tantrum.
A tantrum is a reaction to a situation your child can't handle. Don't give in to anger, you'll only make the situation worse.
Following the crisis, reconciliation will be very important, so avoid holding grudges and making him feel unnecessarily guilty. He's already aware that he's put you through a difficult time, so don't add to it.
If you'd like to improve your toolbox, take my practical training on managing children's crises and emotions, or invite me into your workplace.
